Hello, lovelies… I’m crawling back to you all.

I didn’t kill myself unfortunately (which in my last post I stated I would), as my ex boyfriend tried to break into my apartment at the time. Ironic. Lovely.

The last week I’ve been confined to my apartment space, having my social worker and doctor track my every move so I couldn’t hurt/kill myself. And actually things turned out just a little better after that… I’m still ranked as a high-risk patient, but I guess I’ll try to live as normal as possible until the next wave of shit hits me…

And I would like to thank all the lovely people who sent me messages - I’m in shock! Jesus, some of you are just… amazing.

My time here is almost done…

I’ve written my note, telling my loved ones to stay strong. All that’s left to do is to get myself a rope, and wait for the final trigger that will push me over the edge. I’m at a shitty place right now, so I guess I don’t have to wait for too long…

Sorry if this looks shit on your dashboards. Again, I’m sorry.

I know this sounds cliché, but if I were to jump off a chair with a rope around my neck, I would still regret 99.9% of my life. I even regret things that have never been in my power to change or do anything about…

Mom, I love you, but keeping me was and still is the worst decision you have ever made.